Congruence: Why Actions Matter More Than Words

In a world filled with noise, be the one who lets actions lead the way.

Love Through Actions

Growing up, I had a different experience from most kids. While others looked forward to vacations filled with relaxation and play, my school breaks were spent working alongside my father in his business. He wasn’t the warm, expressive type; he never showered me with praise or affectionate words. But he had his own way of showing love, one that I didn’t understand at the time.

My dad owned a small restaurant specializing in corn-based foods, popular in Brazil and across South America. One of his signature items was pamonha, a corn delicacy that’s similar to tamales. The process to make it is intense: first, you remove each corn husk one by one, then scrape the kernels off the cob, blend them, strain them through a mesh until the mixture reaches just the right consistency, mix in the ingredients, wrap it all up in the corn leaves, and then cook it to perfection. That was just one of the many corn-based dishes he prepared daily.

Every vacation, while other kids were off playing, I was there in his restaurant. At the time, I didn’t appreciate it and couldn’t understand why he was so determined to have me there every break. Only later did I realize he was protecting me, keeping me close to him and away from the wrong influences. This was his way of ensuring I was safe and learning valuable lessons, even though he rarely explained it out loud.

And so, each vacation, I’d watch my dad work. He didn’t stop. He painted the restaurant exterior, he paid wages, he greeted customers warmly, and he never stopped perfecting his recipes. His employees depended on him, and he never let them down. He may not have had the words to say he loved me, but he created a place for me to learn resilience, discipline, and responsibility firsthand. That was his way of passing on his values.

The Real Meaning of Congruence

Today, we’re surrounded by words. Words flood our screens and conversations, big promises, declarations of love, statements about loyalty and values. In this whirlwind, it’s easy to get caught up in what’s being said. But often, those words don’t hold up. Congruence, the alignment of words and actions, has become a rare and essential quality. When someone’s words align with their actions, it creates trust, authenticity, and lasting relationships.

The issue is people often get this wrong. Sometimes, people may sound rough or cold in how they speak, but they show love and commitment through their actions. Other times, people use affectionate words but fail to follow through when it counts. My father wasn’t expressive, but his actions never wavered. He showed us every day what care, protection, and hard work looked like, so the questions is why actions matter more than words?

Why Actions Matter More Than Words

In a world where words are everywhere, their weight has diminished. Politicians, influencers, and brands often use words to sway opinions, promise change, or appear relatable. But without actions to back them up, words quickly fall flat. It’s easy to tell people what they want to hear, but real integrity and trust come from what you actually do.

My dad may not have sat me down to say, “I’m keeping you close because I care,” but I saw it in his actions. Every sacrifice he made to keep our family stable, every late night he worked to provide, and every customer he greeted with a smile taught me more than any words ever could. Now, as I think back, I see that his lack of flowery language didn’t make his love any less real. It just made his actions speak louder.

Congruence Is a Value to Be Cherished

Congruence has become one of the most vital values to hold onto, especially in a time when words alone can’t always be trusted. Real connection and respect are built when words match actions. Imagine hearing someone say, “I’ll always be there for you,” only to find them absent in times of need. Or the difference between someone who says “I love you” daily but never takes the time to truly listen, versus someone who rarely says it but shows up when it matters most.

In your relationships, at work, or with family, look beyond what people say, focus on what they do. Congruence is easy to talk about but difficult to live by. The people in our lives who show us their values through actions deserve to be valued deeply because their integrity builds the foundation for real connection and respect.

A Call to Value Actions Over Words

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my father, it’s that actions are the ultimate test of character. When I look back at all those vacations spent by his side, I see now that he was giving me more than just work experience. He was teaching me about integrity, resilience, and the importance of showing up. His actions showed me what love, care, and hard work really mean.

In your own life, pay attention to the actions that reinforce words. Recognize when someone shows you love, commitment, or care in their deeds. Cherish the people whose values are revealed through their actions, even if they aren’t the most vocal. And strive to live with congruence yourself, let your actions speak as strongly as your words.

In a world filled with noise, be the one who lets actions lead the way.